Adam Tczek

: The Men Commandments- Tony Parsons

Sun, 19 May 2013 17:14:27 -0400

1. The slower you move, the faster you die.

2. Money spent on dental work and travel is never wasted. Plan to die with good teeth and great memories.

3. A man should always have access to the best plumber, accountant and personal trainer that he can possible afford.

4. Never cheat on a woman…

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Sun, 19 May 2013 17:04:33 -0400

factsandchicks: Samuel L Jackson has a clause in all his movie...

Sun, 19 May 2013 17:03:34 -0400

factsandchicks:

Samuel L Jackson has a clause in all his movie contracts stating that he gets 2 days off a week to play golf and the producers have to pay for it.

source

This is how you know you are a big deal.

tastefullyoffensive: [funnyordie]

Sun, 19 May 2013 16:57:10 -0400

tastefullyoffensive:

[funnyordie]

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Sat, 18 May 2013 21:35:45 -0400

DUESPAID: HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN UP ON YOUR DREAM? I HAVE.

Sat, 18 May 2013 20:25:36 -0400

DUESPAID: HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN UP ON YOUR DREAM? I HAVE.:

duespaidriseandgrind:

My talents lie in Modeling, Dancing, and Singing. They were things that always came natural to me and with practice day in and day out, I would have been the best. Straight out of HS I moved to New York to make it big. That was the plan. And I would have done it. But here’s what happened….As I…

This girl is a beast! Keep your eyes open for her doing some really big things!

facts-i-just-made-up: The lung of a non-smoker compared to the...

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 22:35:10 -0400

facts-i-just-made-up:

The lung of a non-smoker compared to the lung of a smoker. For scientific accuracy, both lungs in fact belong to the same man, respiratory biologist Sam Parwell, who for 56 years smoked only with his left lung to ensure the last dismissal of the individuality variable from research on the subject.

Note how the non-smoking lung is still in bloom after removal, 25 hours after the death of the subject. The smoking lung by contrast is barren of leaves and had been since before his death. Smoker’s lungs often cease flowering altogether within the first two years of smoking, though they may again if the subject quits in time. Though not pictured, the bark was also significantly weaker on the smoked bronchi, while it remains a healthy brown on the clean lung, which was also found to have much thicker sap. Smoker’s sap has long been known to run thin and lack the hearty maple flavor of healthy specimens.

(“Opposites”, by Makhail Abromov)

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Sun, 07 Apr 2013 21:29:12 -0400

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Sat, 06 Apr 2013 11:28:38 -0400

planeswalkingonsunshine: If someone ever tells you a certain song is important to them you should...

Sat, 06 Apr 2013 11:28:07 -0400

planeswalkingonsunshine:

If someone ever tells you a certain song is important to them you should turn it up and lay on your bed and close your eyes and really listen to it even if its 10 minutes long because at the end you will know that person much better I think

expondiate: aparticularjane: he is laughing! this is actually...

Sat, 06 Apr 2013 11:23:30 -0400

expondiate:

aparticularjane:

he is laughing!

this is actually so beautiful.

PUPPY!

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Sat, 06 Apr 2013 11:19:53 -0400

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Thu, 04 Apr 2013 21:19:19 -0400

"So remember: 12:01 a.m., May 26. The schedule after that will be approximately as follows: the first..."

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 21:18:34 -0400

“So remember: 12:01 a.m., May 26. The schedule after that will be approximately as follows: the first animated GIFs from the first episode will appear at 12:01 and a half, people will complain that Netflix is down at 12:02, spoilers will begin appearing on Twitter at 12:03, angry tweets about spoilers at 12:04, think pieces about how this distribution model affects spoilers at 12:05, think pieces about how this distribution model might result in the return of Firefly at 12:06, listicles of 10 more shows that Netflix should revive at 12:07, complaints that these episodes “suck” at 12:08, complaints about haters at 12:09, questions about why people who are so into Arrested Development refuse to watch Community at 12:10, and 25 pictures of cats watching Arrested Development at 12:11.”

- ‘Arrested Development’ Comes Back On Netflix On May 26. (via thebluthcompany)
T

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Thu, 04 Apr 2013 21:07:21 -0400

Holy shit, I have to try this.

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 21:03:17 -0400

Holy shit, I have to try this.

robotmango: crumplesnacks: eiyoko: What if our actual lives involve saving the world with our...

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 20:57:46 -0400

robotmango:

crumplesnacks:

eiyoko:

What if our actual lives involve saving the world with our friends and doing really epic stuff

but in this dimension we’re in someone’s high school AU fanfiction or something

#what if i’m a badly-characterized version of myself

twinpersonalitys: ironychan: redcaplf: … Clockodiles? Is that...

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 20:56:00 -0400

twinpersonalitys:

ironychan:

redcaplf:

… Clockodiles? Is that pun very bad?

CLOCKODILES.

somewhere captain hook is shitting himself

When someone says I look like I need a drink

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 13:28:22 -0400

whatshouldwecallme:

tastefullyoffensive: [via]

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 13:10:51 -0400

tastefullyoffensive:

[via]